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Back away from the kitchen!
(by Michael Dennehy - April 16, 2008)
Kay and I have had the house to ourselves now for about seven years. Our daughter Amy was the last to move out. Did I mention she’s getting married in October? Oh I guess I did. Our sons Chris and Kerry are both married and have been gone for some time.
It’s been a hoot with just the two of us to worry about in the house. I kid that Kay and I have never spent so much time in bed – having coffee, watching the morning news, napping, or falling asleep watching some silly TV show in the evening. We go and come as we please. We spend more time with friends, most of whom are in the same situation as we are. We go on cruises, travel, go to plays and go out to dinner as often as we please (or can afford).
Amy gave us a good tip when we eat out. She said order an appetizer, salad, soup and entree. You are almost full before the entree comes. What you don’t eat can be another night’s dinner. Kay admits she is not as fond of cooking as she used to be. When the mood strikes she’ll do a two-fer – that is, make sure there’s enough for two night’s dinners.
One night recently Kay went into the kitchen to start supper. I made myself useful by sitting on the couch reading the newspaper. It wasn’t long before I heard: “Oh no!”
“What’s wrong?” I called out.
She said she pulled out the frying pan from the cabinet and it had “mouse poop” in it!
“They’re Back!!” Mike the Rodent-Hunter will have to suit up once again.
Kay went to the sink to wash out the pan and the sink was backed up! This was turning into a catastrophe! My first thought “Would supper be late?”
Grumbling, Kay went into the bathroom to use the sink there. Sensing things were heating up in the kitchen (and the oven wasn’t even on), I returned to my paper and sat as quiet as a mouse – maybe a poor analogy given the circumstance.
It wasn’t long before I heard Kay exclaim: “Oh no!” yet again.
I said: “What’s wrong now?”
I went in and she said: “I have the wrong lasagna for this recipe! I want to boil the pasta to make it soft for the spinach roll-overs I’m making!”
I said “Uh huh!” like I had a clue what that meant. Trying to be helpful I asked if she’d like me to go to the store and get the right kind. She said yes and instructed me to get the kind that does not say “No-Boil.”
Whatever! I memorized the look of the box – small and blue – and off I went.
Little background here. Since retiring I have been certified as a licensed “Go-fer, chauffeur and loafer.” I was pre-disposed to the third specialty, little training was necessary. The “chauffeur” license is not one given by the state of
New Jersey but by my wife.
I’m not yet qualified to be licensed as a shopper. That’s a whole different ball game. I must be given specific instructions – and I mean specific. Walking into a supermarket is like walking into a maze for me. And there are so many products and so many variations of each. I’m practiced at staples such as bread, milk and coffee – and, of course, ice cream! Look at the bread shelf: white, rye, whole wheat, whole wheat grain, whole wheat honey grain, sourdough, etc.
At any rate, I arrived at the supermarket. I was looking for that little blue box marked lasagna that Kay wanted to boil – easy enough. So I was to get the lasagna that she would boil. Are you following me? I found the aisle without any trouble. Going through the various spaghettis, penne, ravioli, fettucine, lasagnas was a bit of a chore. I finally found the lasagna in the same blue color box. I looked at the countless instructions and data on the box. I found one I was looking for and headed home. Another job well done by shopper-man.
I brought it in and Kay said, politely if firmly, I said ‘no boil’! But I thought she wanted to boil it – the box said it hadn’t been boiled! There it was emblazoned on the box “oven ready – no boil.” Duh! I saw that as the lasagna had not been boiled. I guess my mind was distracted by going through all the pastas. Or I hadn’t paid close enough attention to what she said. That has been known to happen.
Well Kay made do with the error. And this meal that seemed doomed from the start, when all was said and done, turned out to taste pretty darned good!
And we got two dinners out of it.
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